


Cause Home's Where the Heart is (And When I Departed I Might've Abandoned Them Both)

by CatstellationChaos



Category: Sleepy Boys Inc., Video Blogging RPF, mcyt
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Dissociation, Found Family, H - Freeform, Hurt TommyInnit, Hurt/Comfort, I think so?, Im going to make this multiple chapters and edit the tags as I go I think, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, No beta we die like wilbur getting stabbed by phil, Other, Scratching yourself till you bleed is self harm right?, Self-Harm, Sensory Overload, Social Anxiety, Suicide Attempt, Tommy needs a hug, if any of the creators are uncomfortable with this type of fic ill take it down immediately, its like the minecraft but set in a modern realistic world if that makes sense?, its weird ik im hoping it'll make more sense later lmfao, runaway fic, selective mutism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:15:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27986037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatstellationChaos/pseuds/CatstellationChaos
Summary: despondent[ dih-spon-duhnt ]adjectivefeeling or showing profound hopelessness, dejection, discouragement, or gloom:despondent about failing health.
Relationships: All Platonic/Familiar Relationships, Dave | Technoblade & TommyInnit & Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson, No Romantic Relationship(s), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Comments: 21
Kudos: 220





	1. You Said This Wouldn't Hurt, Give Me Cavities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> edit 2/25/21: changed chapter title and edited the chapter slightly to be more to my liking and fit the story overall better

Tommy stared at the room he's known all his life, the soft glow of the moon illuminating his room from his open window. A cold breeze fluttered his curtains and sank into Tommy's flesh, sinking in his bones. Tommy had always hated the cold for this reason, preferring the blistering heat of the summer to the freezing temperatures of winter. Because while the heat burns the flesh, cold sinks deep into your body, into your very being. Tommy found himself feeling cold more often. It was always fucking cold. He was so sick of it. The last time he remembered being truly warm was months ago, when he went to Tubbo's house and was in the actual presence of his best friend. Or when he last saw Wilbur, his older brother in all but blood seemed to wrap a warm feeling around his warm that spread through his limbs. The blossoming pool of warmth and good and soon squished down due to his dad's turning to him ass soon as he walked through the door, but he remembers the feeling with that flowed still like a pleasant feeling of right after eating warm soup and laughing on a cold day.

His hands twitched towards the backpack hanging on the hook on his door. The green Zelda backpack was barely visible in the pale reflected light that shone in his room. But he knew it was there, and he felt pulled towards it. He quickly grabbed it off the hook, his arm shaking as he resisted the urge to scratch his arm in his anxiousness. Silent tears were flowing down his face, he barely registered them. He felt so numb. He quietly opened his backpack whilst sitting on his bed, trying not to awaken his mother sleeping in the other room. He looked down and saw the dry meals and water bottles packed in there, along with matches, an emergency blanket, and some bar soap. A creak in the distance startled him out of his thoughts.

He paused, his heart beating loudly in his ears. The only sounds he could hear were his own heartbeat and his sound hiccups, he glanced at the clock. 1:30 AM it read. His father probably wouldn't be up, the creak was probably his dog shifting positions in the living room, but he couldn't take any chances. If his father knew he was up, he would probably yell him into another anxiety attack or smack him upside the head for crying. _Stop crying asshole,_ he silently screamed at himself. _Stop being so fucking useless._ He tried his best to breathe as quietly as possible, his left hand scratching his right forearm to get rid of the nervous energy building up in his stomach. He scratched and scratched the old scar tissue, only stopped when he noticed he was bleeding again. He sighed quietly to himself as he bent down to reach under his bed for his secret first aid kit. _It's alright. I needed to grab this anyway, I just need to be quiet._ He quickly got out a couple of bandaids and some antibiotic cream, applying the cream to his cheek where he had a scratch from a ring getting caught and on his arm, then applied the bandaids. He shoved the first aid kit in his backpack

Tommy moved quickly, gliding through his room with ease and avoiding the creaks in the floor. He grabbed a rolled up outfit he had preplanned from his dresser and threw it in his bag, he also grabbed his laptop and charger along with a headset and mouse. Next, he went to his desk, grabbing his card and all the change he had saved over the years and a prepaid phone he had secretly bought, along with a charger for it. He opened the phone, a VPN he had been paying for and Discord already downloaded and logged into on it, and checked the battery. 98%. _That should be enough to get me to the train._ He shoved them in the bag pack too and zipped it up. He grabbed a discarded hoodie from his desk and a warm jacket that had fallen off his bed and rushed to put them on. He grabbed the boots from under his bed and put them on his already socked feet (they make footsteps quieter). He took one last look at his bedroom from in front of his window, going over the checklist he had made in his mind. He decided he had everything he would need for the time being, and slid out of the window. 

The fall from his window wasn't a long one, as he was just barely above the ground, but he felt his heart drop and ankles ache with a sharp throb as he fell on a stick, making a crack that echoed in his ears. He decided if his father had heard, he would be dead if he decided to come and check. So, he ran. His footsteps were quiet and careful when he was close to the house, but as he got further and further away his footsteps got louder as he ran faster and faster. When he got to the main road, miles away from his house, he finally stopped running and breathed, his lungs aching as the cold hair hit his face and make his ears and cheeks sting. Few cars passing under the well lit area of the stop light. He had to keep going, he had heard the faint vrop of an endermen teleporting somewhere in the distance. He walked under the cheap yellow lights, looking over his shoulder every couple of minutes as he walked towards a nearby gas station. He rushed inside, grabbing an energy drink and making his way back to the cashier. He set it on the counter and slid the backpack off of one of his shoulders, opening it and pulling out £ 5\. He handed it to the cashier, waiting a moment for them to input it into the cash register and count his change. When he was handed back the change, he grabbed the can and put the change in his backpack before leaving towards the train station, drinking the energy drink on his way. He had to keep his energy up, he wouldn't make it to where he needed to go without caffeine.

He stopped for a second in a McDonald's on the side of the road, stepping inside to go into the bathroom to breathe for a moment. He connected to the free wifi of the restaurant and opened discord. Going into his DMs he debated who he would text. He needed a place to stay for just the night, he would hopefully be gone by the morning, he just needed somewhere to stay until he could get a room at a motel or something. _Not Tubbo,_ he decided immediately. It would be the first place his father would check, besides, he didn't want to bother Tubbo with this. Tubbo had already done so much for him. He continued to look at his DMs, considering carefully. Phil was also far too obvious, plus he lived to far away for him to get to while also getting any sleep. He paused when he saw a certain name. _Wilbur._


	2. Cause If Living is The Equivalent of Breathin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe I should-  
> Prepare myself for an asthma attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HHHHH sorry for taking so long to update. I technically had this chapter done around Christmas but all my tech was taken from me so I couldn't post and since it was on paper I just got too lazy to retype it. ANYWAY It's 5 am on a school night and I haven't slept since 9 PM so whats a better time? :-> Thank you so much for the kind comments, I really appreciate them and I read all of them <3 I'm sorry if I don't reply to all of them, I have social anxiety and I get scared of what you'll say lmfao
> 
> edit 2/25/21: just edited it more to my liking and to make sure it lined up with the last chapter, also I realize im not funny we dont talk about it

When Wilbur put his phone on his nightstand that night, he didn't expect to be awoken by it. Back or leg pain? Very likely. A nightmare he would immediately forget once he jolted up? A common problem. Being texted in the middle of the night by his basically little brother? One in 75 trillion chance.

Wilbur, who went to bed at 11:00 PM, which is the earliest he's slept in whats probably years, was a light sleeper. Whether it be from the things he doesn't remember that left him traumatized and living with Phil until he was mostly healed and old enough to move out and start his own life, the mobs that creep around the cities in the less well-lit alleyways waiting to strike, purple eyes that gleam into your soul and a cacophony of unholy screeching that seem to echo and rattle in your brain, or the shifting of bones long forgotten and a skull filled with anger from a tired existence instead of the brain it once was. A lot of things left him and his anxious brain restless, and though he was used to it that didn't mean he liked it.

But at around 1:50 he woke up to a ping from his phone. A tired groan echoed through his apartment after it pierced his ears, awaking him and quickly taking any leftover sleepiness with it. After staring at the ceiling for a good five minutes and regretting the life choices that led him to that point, he finally looked at his phone to see what was so important it woke him up. He had it set so that most of the time only important notifications came through, but sometimes his provider decided death upon him. Grabbing it off the nightstand by throwing his arm on top of it and sliding it with his elbow, he pressed the power button and winced at the bright light that hard his eyes in comparison to the completely dark room. Wilbur blinked rapidly, for the first minute, trying to force his eyes to adjust well enough to the lighting for him to see anything other than the vague colors of his phone wallpaper. He glared at his screen for a moment before forcing himself to get up from his warm bed and turning on the light so he could see whatever pinged his phone. He silently swore to himself that if it was from his provider he was switching. 

_Discord TommyInnit 1:57 AM_

_Click to read_

Tommy? Why would he text him so late? Of course, it wasn't uncommon for him to be awake at this time, but he usually avoided talking so late at night to anyone but Tubbo, and that's only if he knew the other boy would be staying up whether he was talking to Tommy or not. Eyebrows scrunched in confusion, he gently brushed the curly brown hair out of his eyes as he pressed on the click to read button and slide his finger to his password screen. Quickly typing in his password, he thought of what the message might be as he watched the DMs between him and the younger blonde loaded. 

_**TommyInnit** Today at 1:57 AM_

_Wilbur? I'm so sorry to bother you and I think you might be sleeping but I don't know who else to ask_

_um can I sleep on your couch tonight? it'll just be tonight and I'll pay you for it if you want I just need somewhere to stay for the night and ill be gone by morning_

_god this is stupid I'm sorry for bothering you_

_He... What?_ Wilbur thought, his confusion only growing.

 **_ WilburSoot  _ ** _ Today at 2:06 AM _

_ What? Tommy are you alright? Did something happen? _

**_ TommyInnit  _ ** _ Today at 2:06 AM _

_ I'm fine, I just may have uhh runaway its fine_

**_ WilburSoot  _ ** _ Today at 2:07 AM _

_ you _

_ you what? _

**_ TommyInnit  _ ** _ Today at 2:08 AM  _

_ Nevermind, I'm sorry for bothering you ill leave you alone _

**_ WilburSoot  _ ** _ Today at 2:08 _

_ Nuh-uh, we're fucking talking about this. Are you safe enough to call? _

**_ TommyInnit  _ ** _ Today at 2:08 AM _

_ Um, yeah... _

**_ WilburSoot  _ ** _ Today at 2:09 AM _

_ I'm calling, pick up. _

Luckily, he did in fact pick up. 

"H-Hey Wilbur," Tommy's voice echoed from his phone, he sounded exhausted, his voice sounded sore and sniffling could be picked up from his microphone. It didn't sound like his normal phone either, it sounded like he was either using a different one or someone tried to run over his phone with a train and when that didn't work they tried to drown it. 

"Tommy," he breathed, he was relieved to hear him. "Where are you?"

"What?"

"Where are you? I'm coming to pick you up." Wilbur said, grabbing his keys from the hook by the door and putting them in the pocket of the hoodie he'd slept in. He quickly went back to his room, realizing he forgot his socks.

"Wh- Wilbur that's not necessary! I can get there find on my own I just needed to know if I could-" Wilbur zoned out slightly at that point, thinking of Tommy's tone. It was the same tone he had when he's trying to fight off a panic attack or trying not to "freeze" from social anxiety. He rushed to put on his socks and shoes, grabbing the coat on the door and quickly throwing it over his shoulders.

"Tommy, it's okay. I want to come to pick you up. I'd feel much better if I picked you up, its late at night and you're not on public transportation where fuck all can happen." Wilbur felt bad for saying that, knowing Tommy tended to put others before him to the point of breaking, but it was truthful and necessary if he wanted to pick him up. He climbed into the car and started it, silently praying to whatever gods would help him that he'd let him help him.

"...fine, I'll text you the address." He waited for the message to pop up and copied it into his GPS, and started heading to where the lady's voice instructed him to. 

"Are you warm enough where you are?"

"Yeah."

"Okay good."

They stayed like that for a while, Wilbur driving to where the lady instructed him to, and Tommy silently waiting for him. Wilbur thought he might've hung up on him multiple times, but occasionally another soft sniffle would echo from the phone or someone would walk into the McDonalds he was in and order. 30 minutes had passed since he had gotten into the car by the time he pulled up to the McDonald's. He switched off his car and grabbed his phone, and after he had just barely walked in he hung up on Tommy. He looked around and quickly found the mop of blonde hair of the 16-year-old he had been searching for. He walked over to the booth and sat in the seat opposite his little brother figure. 

"Hey, Toms." Wilbur greeted, looking at the tired Tommy.


	3. You Don't Need Poltergeist for Sidekicks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wilbur's there, but they don't talk. That's perfectly okay with Tommy. Words in unknown situations brought nothing but pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a pain in the ass to write because I had so many ideas for the future but none for how to get there aafjkfd

“...hey,” Tommy said quietly looking at the lanky hybrid in front of him. ‘Course, it was hard to realize he was a hybrid at first. The only real indicators of the male in front of him maybe being anything less than human was the slightly pointier ears and lower canines that try to poke out from his lips. If the man himself hadn’t told him, Tommy would quite honestly have no fucking clue he was a hybrid otherwise. 

“Are you hungry?” Wilbur asked Tommy, taking off his coat and stuffing it under his arm.

“...no.” Tommy said in a small voice. He knew he could trust Wilbur, he  _ did _ trust Wilbur, and as much as he wanted to laugh and yell and joke with his older brother figure, his mind screamed danger at the unfamiliar place and situation. As much as he wanted to, he could barely force himself to whisper a single word answer. He hated it. He hated being so terrified to speak. He hated being afraid. He hated himself.  _ God, I’m such an idiot.  _ Before he could try to say something else, his stomach growled loudly.  _ Fucking traitor! _ He angrily thought at his stomach which just gurgled again in retaliation.

“How about a hot chocolate at least?” Wilbur asked, smiling with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.  _ Oh, shit _ . Tommy was so fucked. He knew that look. Whenever Wilbur had that look on his face, it meant he was giving him two options.  _ At least try it if you can without forcing yourself, or I’m going over there and sitting on you with my 6’5 giant ass. _

__

“Fine! Fine! Just stay the fuck away from me you goddamn lanky ass giant.”

Wilbur laughed and got up, happy that he made the situation more comfortable for Tommy, enough so that he could get him to insult him. He bent back over briefly to grab his wallet from the pocket of his coat. Quickly with shift and graceful movements, he walked up to the counter and ordered Tommy a hot chocolate and himself a vanilla shake. Tommy was about to make fun of him for having bad taste when he remembered Wilbur can’t taste much and mostly eats off the texture.  _ Fucking loser,  _ Tommy thought fondly. Wilbur paid quickly with his card, then once again sat next to Tommy in the booth.

They sat in silence for a while, neither of them knowing what to say. Despite this, it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. They were taking time to gather their thoughts, and that was okay. If anything it was needed at the moment. Even Tommy had enough tact to see that he couldn’t just speak before thinking in this situation. Tommy didn’t like his family, and he definitely didn’t like his dad, but that didn’t mean he wanted them to get in trouble with the law. He knew how overprotective Wil could be, and if he didn’t choose his words carefully Tommy was sure he would call the police, or at least go over and try to murder his father in the most comical way possible.

They didn’t speak for a while. Simply sitting there as a river of thoughts and questions rushed through their minds. In Tommy’s case, they were so fast that he barely had time to process them before they went flying out into the void of his memories. They stayed like that until the McDonalds Employee came and brought them their drinks.

“Are you ready to go?” Wilbur asked, and Tommy simply nodded. The anxious thoughts that had been running wild preventing him from speaking, and causing his hands to shake. He grasped the cheap coffee cup with both of his hands, hoping to stop it from spilling. They made their way to Wilbur’s car, passing a map of the Antarctic Empire as they passed. The map quickly distracted Tommy from the current of thoughts pushing him every which way. 

He remembers a report he had to do on the Antarctic Empire once. The assignment was to write a report about ‘our great countries history.’ Tommy usually finds history incredibly boring in most cases. There are somethings that interest him, such as the mythology of different cultures or LGBTQ+ facts from ancient times. Even for the topics he does enjoy, he struggles to find ways to learn about them that doesn’t bore him so much he loses interest. But for the Antarctic Empire project specifically, he enjoyed it. He almost turned it in late due to how much research he had focussed on. He was sucked into the mystery that surrounded the very land he stepped on. The Emporer that was never except by his worst enemies moments before their deaths, was rumored to have giant, gorgeous wings that he used to protect those he loved and swoop down upon those how had wronged them. Because of this, he was given the name “Angel of Death” by some, believing him to be something more than mortal. Tommy personally thought that last bit was absolute bullshit, but he thought the idea was cool. Emporer Za also apparently had two sons, the Hidden Twins, as they were often called. One was said to be the greatest warrior the land had ever seen, he did anything he put his mind to, and if someone got in his way he destroys them. The other twin was said to have the voice of a siren, gorgeous and charismatic. He had brought rulers down with his carefully laced words and eyes that cut them, scratching their throats and forcing their way into their hearts. Much like their father, the boys were never seen other than by those who wouldn’t live to tell the tale. It sounded like something out of the mythology books he was so fond of, to know it was actually true was well, comforting to Tommy. To know something that seemed impossible was, in fact, possible? It made Tommy feel like did have a chance at a future, despite what his teachers and parents always told him. 

Somewhere on the way to Wilbur’s Apartment, he had turned on the radio. Tommy had been so lost in his own thoughts that when he tuned back in, he was shocked by the loud noise and quickly put his hands over his ears, wincing. Wilbur noticed and quickly turned the radio down.

“I’m sorry Toms, was that too loud? Do you want me to change it or turn it off?” Wilbur asked, concern making his eyebrows furrow as he looked at the road in front of him. 

“It’s fine just, lower volume please.”  _ Too many things happening at once, _ Tommy thought, a headache pounding behind his skull.

“Alright. Tell me if that changed and you need it turned off, okay?”

“Okay.”

The music played softly for the rest of the drive. They still didn’t speak, and Tommy opted to just look outside the window at the passing cars. He was exhausted, both physically and mentally, but he couldn’t bring himself to let him sleep. His mind was racing. Why was Wilbur so nice to him? He wasn’t anything but a waste of space. 

The car arrived at the cheap apartment complex with the snow crunching under Wil’s car making Tommy’s head pound even more. He watched as Wilbur got out and quickly went to follow. He grabbed the now cold cup of hot chocolate that had been sitting between his legs out and held it in one hand, and he grabbed his backpack at had put on the floor next to his feet with the other and threw it on his shoulder, then opened the door with the same hand. Wilbur had waited for him to get out on the front of his car. He hopped off and motioned for Tommy to follow, and follow he did. He probably could’ve made it to his apartment by himself if he was even a little bit more awake, but his brain felt so foggy and his eyes were going on and off focussing. The pavement was dimly lit by street lights, not super bright but bright enough to keep the mobs away. He followed Wilbur into his apartment in a daze, Wilbur had taken notice and was looking at him concerned but hadn’t said anything. Wilbur got out a couple of blankets and pillows and push his couch back against the wall, and made a makeshift bed with the blankets and pillows. It wasn’t necessary as he was perfectly content just sleeping on the floor or couch, but he appreciated the thought.

“Okay, Tommy. Are you alright sleeping like this?” He pointed to the makeshift bed, “I know it won’t be the most comfortable but I haven’t washed my sheets in like, a month.” Tommy barked out a small laugh and nodded that it was fine. “Alright. Try to get some sleep because I will hunt you down if you get any less than 10 hours of sleep, got it?” Wilbur asked, grinning at him like an idiot. Tommy rolled his eyes and nodded. With how tired he was he didn’t think his body would allow him to get up until he got at least 12 hours.

“We’ll talk tomorrow, okay Toms?” Ugh, talks. He hates talks. “You don’t gotta tell me why you ran, but we do gotta talk about what we’re going to do with you. I know you can take care of your self but I’m not letting you go homeless you gremlin.” Tommy nodded again. “Goodnight Toms.” 

Tommy laid down on top of the blankets and was out like a light.


	4. My Mind is Playing Awful Tricks, The Ramblings of a Lunatic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wilbur and Tommy can't both stay at Wil's apartment, but there is no way in hell he's leaving the kid he considers a little brother to fend for himself so they're going to his dad's! Pog!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's a writing schedule? We don't know her
> 
> Very off-topic but I find the word lunatic very cool. Lunatic comes from the word lunaticus, which means "of the moon" or moonstruck according to universetoday.com. Basically, in the late 1800s, there was a super situation that if you were out past... midnight I believe if my memory serves me right? On a full moon, people were believed to go insane. So, now we have the word lunatic. 
> 
> Anyway, road trip pog!
> 
> Also, not really much is done in this chapter but my smooth rat brain cannot figure out how to add the part that comes next which is *very* important without a chapter break so here we are.

When Tommy woke up in the morning on the floor, he didn’t think much of it. His back hurt, but his back always hurt and he was going to lay in the warmth that surrounded him until his back hurt too much for him to bear or he got bored of daydreaming. 

Sadly for Tommy, Wilbur was doing something in the kitchen and he was fucking  _ loud _ . Tommy tried to bury his head between the two pillows, but Wilbur just laughed, probably at him. So, Tommy threw the pillow off his head in frustration and threw a glare at Wilbur. It only made him laugh harder, the attempt at a glare from the sleepy teenager in front of him just screamed Tommy. He pointed to the Nutella next to the toaster and frozen waffles inside of said toaster. 

Accepting that he was not going back to sleep anytime soon, he situated himself on a chair by the table the toaster was set on, one of the blankets hanging loosely off his shoulders. Tommy quickly found an item nearby and stared at it, zoning out of reality. That is until the fucking toaster popped up and scared the shit out of him. He jumped up, spooked for a second because realizing what happened. He was still too tired to feel embarrassed at the moment, but he knew he would be later. Whatever, that’s a problem for the future Tommy. Current Tommy is fucking  _ hungry.  _

Wilbur handed him a knife and the Nutella jar and gestured for him to take the two waffles currently finished in one side of the toaster. Tommy carefully grabbed the waffles and placed them on the paper plate that Wilbur put the knife on, then grabbed the knife and smeared a good amount of it on one side of a waffle, then put the other waffle on top making a sandwich. The other two popped out and Wilbur quickly did the same. After a few minutes of silent chewing, the awkwardness in the air became more and more noticeable.

“Tommy, do you have a plan for what happens now?” Asked Wilbur once he was done.    
  
“I was going to rent a motel room or some shit with the money I currently have, and just like, grind I guess.” He replied, murmuring his answer with his eyes averted, intently staring at the floor.

“Tommy, full offense, but that plan was fucking shit,” Wilbur said, laughing slightly, trying to make it clear that was a joke. “I have an idea if you’re up to hear it.”   
  


“Shoot, Big Man.” 

“Well, I don’t really feel good about you going off by yourself somewhere, and we both know I don’t have enough room here. So, how about going up and staying with Phil for a bit? Phil won’t mind, and he has plenty of room. Plus, it's been a while since I’ve seen him, and since Techno is also staying there, it seems like the perfect time. What do you say?”   
  


“...I guess?” Tommy hasn’t certain, but it seemed better than anything he had come up with thus far. Plus, Tommy missed Phil. Phil was so much more of a father than his actual father had ever been, making him feel safe and loved while also letting him take a breath and laugh. Tommy didn’t know Techno too well, having met him only once or twice. Techno was Wilbur’s twin, but they didn’t look much alike. Techno had long hair he usually put up in a loose ponytail when he’s not training, a braid if he is. His hair was dyed pink, but if he hadn’t seen the roots grown out and a dark brown poking out from the light pink, he would’ve thought it was natural. Techno and Wil are piglin hybrids, but Techno had inherited most of the features from the piglin side of them. His ears were much longer than Wilbur’s, and the pointed edge of the ear had pink fur covering it that went all the way back to where the ear connected to the head. He also had much longer tusks and hooves on the bottom of his legs that clicked and clacked on hard floors.

Techno seemed soft when you first saw him, glasses on top of his freckle covered nose and cheeks, pink hair that was loosely tied at the base of his neck behind him, and pastel covered hoodie he wore everywhere. But Tommy had seen the man angry, and training, and he was a force to be reckoned with. His usually monotone voice and dark humor did shock Tommy at first, he will admit.

“All right then. He might as well head out now than in that case, we have to head all the way to the capital, and it’s not exactly a short drive y’know?”

“Wh- the capital? Since fucking when? What?” Tommy asked, very confused. He’s been to Phil’s house with Wil before, it wasn’t anywhere  _ near _ the capital.

“Huh? Oh, wait- right. You’ve only been to his vacation home. Phil owns multiple houses, Toms, but the one he stays at most of the year is in the capital.”

“Weirdchamp.”

And so, Tommy grabbed his bag and helped Wilbur put away the pillows and blankets he had gotten out for him. Apparently, Wilbur had called Phil while he was still asleep in the other room, trying not to wake him up. By the time Tommy had actually gotten up, Wilbur had gotten bored of waiting and started doing shit to see what would wake him without him physically going near him to wake him.  _ Fucking prick. _

They packed into the car once again, Tommy with his tiny ass backpack and Wilbur empty-handed. When asked why he wasn’t bringing a change of clothes at the very least, Wilbur simply replied “I have clothes there already.”

“Why the fuck do you have clothes there?” Tommy asked, his confusion just growing.

“He’s my dad Tommy, I tend to visit him enough to still have things I use often enough where I grew up,” Wilbur stated, rolling his eyes as he started the car.

The rest of the car ride was silent. Tommy switched between finding something to do on his shitty prepaid phone and looking at his surroundings. His dad-  _ biological dad _ \- had traveled all over the Antarctic Empire for his job. Rarely close enough to home for him to actually be home every night, sometimes it was rare if he visited for even a single weekend a month. Tommy hadn’t minded that, he hadn’t since he was a very small child how had yet to hear either the yelling that filtered through the walls or when he would yell at Tommy for not doing enough, never doing enough,  _ never being enough _ , despite how hard the teenager might have tried. Tommy had no idea how many panic attacks had been caused by that man, how many times he’s disassociated because of triggers caused by his father- but Tommy loved traveling and car rides. When he was younger and his mother was still well enough to drive him almost every day, he was so happy and felt so free from that suffocating house. Even if he couldn’t be free of his mother at these times, it was enough. However, that was a long time ago. Tommy never learned how to properly drive because his mother couldn’t anymore. And there was no way in hell he was going to let himself get trapped alone in a car with just his father.

So, here he sat in a car with his older brother figure, music on his Spotify playing softly from the radio via. Aux cord, Wilbur’s fingers lightly drumming on the steering wheel and humming. His ears would twitch occasionally at a particularly loud note or lyric but otherwise seemed to be enjoying himself. 

Tommy felt his eyes starting to droop about 2 hours in, and in the normal teenager who normally doesn’t get nearly enough sleep fashion, immediately took the opportunity to get more rest, exhaustion running deep within him. 


	5. When I've had Enough of Dying in the Dayshift, I'll Pack Myself a Pair of Socks and Get Inside A Spaceship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im posting this while crying because of how much love I hold for this small dumbass creature that likes to try to drink out of straws and fling food everywhere help  
> This is a longer chapter, sorry! They probably wont be as long in the future!  
> Image IDs will be in the notes at the beginning but they probably wont be good cause I have never done one before akfdjf I dont know how to insert images on this site :D  
> also friendly reminder to get the tags because I update them shortly after I update the chapter so check them for any triggering content <3  
> Tubbo!! Tubbo in a box!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [th(1).jpeg]: A picture of a page of a book, the first and last lines are cut off and the second is colored over in a light blue color from editing the photo after it was taken. The only legible text says "The fool jingled miserably across the floor." End ID.)  
> [th.jpeg]: The same photo from earlier, however the second line is no longer colored over. The image now reads ""Come hither, Fool." The fool jingled miserably across the floor." End ID)

When Tommy woke up, he had no fucking clue where the hell he was. He groaned loudly as he shifted, his back bent in an awkward position making his back hurt like a fucking bitch. He looked over to his right to see what Wilbur was doing to see him talking to someone. Tommy stared at the person Wilbur was talking to for a bit, waiting for his brain to process whatever the fuck he was looking at. His phone buzzed annoyingly in his pocket but he opted to ignore it. 

Wilbur was talking to a man through his rolled-down window, which in its self isn’t weird, Wilbur is a very social person and he understands, however, the man he talking to was dressed  _ as a mother fucking palace guard.  _ Who fucking does that? Cosplay as a guard? Especially in the capital?  _ MMM??? _ Tommy was pretty sure that was illegal, and if it wasn’t, it fucking should be. Tommy did have to admit it was a pretty cool costume though, looked very real. Tommy decided he just did not want to deal with the weirdness of the situation and opted to instead look at whatever the fuck was blowing up his shitty phone.

_ Discord Tubbo_ 8:47 PM _

__ _ Click to read _

_ Oh shit Tubbo _ , Tommy silently thought to himself as his eyebrows furrowed in worry. He distantly heard Wilbur stop talking and started pulling forward into where ever the fuck. 

**_Tubbo__ ** _ at 8:43 PM _

_ Tommy? Are you okay? The police rame to my house asking about you, said you were missing??  _

_   
_ __ _ Tommy? _

__ _ Tommy?? Plrease reply im genuinely worried _

__ _ Tommy????? Please fucking answer me im sorry if i made you mad or something i just want to make sure your okay _

__ _ Tommy..? _

__ **_TommyInnit_ ** _ at 8:59 PM: _

__ _ Sorry I didn’t mean to worry you! I’m safe I just may or may not have ran away because I couldnt take that hell hole of a house anymore and it was either that or… the other thing I attempted before  _

__ _ I’m in the car with Wilbur rn, he came and picked me up because I panicked and texted him last night, we’re going to phil’s apparently _

__ _ He apparently has multiple houses??? Bitch??? You got that much money and your still a fucking weeb?? Bitchass _

__ **_Tubbo__ ** _ at 9:03 PM _

__ _ Tommy you promised me if you did that you would tell me dumbass _

__ **_TommyInnit_ ** _ at 9:03 PM _

__ _ In my defense, It was past midnight and I had just had a panic attack so I wasn’t exactly thinking straight also who the fuck are you calling a dumbass bitch? Ill aggressively fcking _

__ _ Uh _

__ _ I dont fucking know Ill aggressively cry at you while pissing out my asshole or some shit what you gonna do about it bitch? Fucko? _

__ **_Tubbo__ ** _ at 9:07 PM _

__ _ *gordan ramsay voice* finally some good fucking food _

__ **_TommyInnit_ ** _ at 9:07 PM _ _   
  
_

__ _ News update ive decided I regret being friends with you. Go. shoo. _

__ **_Tubbo__ ** _ at 9:08 PM _

_ [ _ _ th(1).jpeg] _

__ **_TommyInnit_ ** _ at 9:08 PM _

__ _ No wait come back _

__ **_Tubbo__ ** _ at 9:09 PM _

__ _ [th.jpeg] _

__ **_TommyInnit_ ** _ at 9:09 PM _

__ _ Bitch. _

__ **_Tubbo__ ** _ at 9:09 PM _

__ _ Brother hurt tubbo? Brother is cruel?? Brother is cold and unloving?? Tubbo is running away. Tubbo is packing his little rucksack and is running away from brother. Tubbo can no longer thrive here _

__ **_TommyInnit_ ** _ at 9:10 PM _

__ _ One, stop fucking copying me sweaty <3, Two, fucking thank god I’ve gone into debt with the amount of divorce fees. You better fucking pay your child support bitch _

__ **_Tubbo__ ** _ at 9:10 PM _

__ _ Mean. Im going to stay just to fucking spite you now. And for reference I wasnt going to pay my child support anyway i need that money for mcdonalds in the morning dumbass <3 _

Tommy was about to type out a response when suddenly Wilbur’s car stopped once more, this time it seemed for good. When Wilbur moved to pull his keys out of the ignition Tommy leaned down to grab the backpack that was sitting between his legs on the floor of the car. He grabbed it by the handle and pulled up, his torso moving backwards in the seat and his legs adjusting to make more room for the bag. Once he got it off the floor, he shrugged it onto his shoulder and went to open the door, Wilbur waiting for him at the front of the car once more. By the time he got out of the car he looked up to try to get a clue as to where the ever loving fuck they were going, just to see thousands of tiny lights in the distance glittering on a large building. His thoughts malfunctioned as he looked at the site in front of him. He had seen this building before, never in person, but they taught about it in schools all over the empire. He had never seen at this position however, in all the pictures it had the same structure- and the sheer mass of the building could not be replicated without it spreading like a wildfire. Tommy’s brain stopped as it looked at it.  _ Were they at the fucking palace? WHAT THE FUCK?- _ Tommy turned and stared at Wilbur for a second to see him looking at Tommy with a shit eating grin on his face.

“You coming are not?” Wilbur asked him with a mischeifious tone, jestering with a flick of a wrist for Tommy to follow him.

  
  
“What the actual  _ fuck  _ Wilby I-” Tommy started, pausing when the shit eating grin grew.

“Did you just fucking call me Wilby?”    
  


“No I-”   
  
“Awee Tommy, you can call me Wilby if you want!”  _ That motherfucker. _

“I did not call you fucking Wilby dickhead!” Tommy whisper-yelled, glaring half heartedly at Wilbur. Tommy shoved him lightly, his glare breaking when Wilbur laughed and put his arm around Tommy's shoulder, lightly dragging him towards the palace.

“Pog through the pain Tommy, pog through the pain,” Tommy muttered to himself as a joke, smiling when it made Wilbur laugh again. “Anyway dick head,  _ how the actual fuck are we here and why? _ I thought we were going to Phil’s? Also I’m like a 100% sure the public isn’t allowed here, even if I could break in here with how much of a big man I am.” 

“Ah, well, you see gremlin, I’m not ‘the public’, and since you’re with me, you can come too I guess ‘big man.’”

“Okay, one: That didn’t answer one of my questions, two: What the shit do you mean you’re not ‘the public?’ D’ya fucking work here or some shit??? Third: Am I a fucking joke to you?”

“Well to the first two: Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy? And for the third: Yes yes you are. Now hurry up child I wanna be there before Techno retreats into his room for the next 3 days.”   
  


“I’m not a child-” Tommy started, but decided to stop himself in favor of just following Wilbur. 

They walked up to the large gates of the palace, large and dark brown that contrasted the light tan base and the dark and light blue stripes going down the walls in a select pattern neatly. The warm light that poked through the modern looking windows and lights outside them and under ridges and on corners lighting the whole palace up making it sparkle under the night sky. The guards looked at Wilbur and nodded, signaling for other guards to open up the gates. Tommy numbly realized the guy Wilbur talking to earlier was not- in fact- a cosplayer. 

The gate opened into the palace and people were husting all over, laughing with others or just sighing with fond exasperation. There was one person glaring at them in the corner but it was half hearted at best, they just seemed to be having a bad day from what Tommy could tell. The inside of the palace was just as beautiful as the outside, and though Tommy didn’t have an eye for decorating or building, even he had to admit the place was gorgeous. They were in what looked to be the front room, and though it wasn’t as large as one would think with the sheer vastness of the building, it made up for it with its contents. The room itself stretched about two trailers back, but with high ceilings that had large skylights with large wooden rafters separating the panes of strong glass. From the rafters hundreds- if not thousands of tiny chains of all different lengths stretched down and held tiny lanterns at the end of each one. Some were glowing with a soft yellow light that the fire made, others glowing with an odd light color that Tommy had never witnessed from a lantern. They could be LEDs, he supposed, though the way they flickered and sputtered all out of tune made him doubt they were. The wooden pillars that connected to the rafters to give them extra support were carved with tons of different images, some of them seeming to be telling stories, others just there for aesthetic reasons. In the back of the room though, Phil and Techno stood in view of the gate near the back of the large room and were walking briskly towards the gate.    
  
It was all too much and Tommy felt himself freeze as panic began to tear its way up his chest and into his throat, forcing it shut. He felt his legs shake slightly through the numbness that had spread through them. As cautiously as he could, he slightly moved his shaky hands to the sleeve of Wilbur’s trench coat, being careful not to pinch the older man, but clinging on with a strong grip. Wilbur didn't say anything about it, didn’t even look at Tommy when he did this, but he did slightly shift a little closer to the teen, and threw his arm gently onto his shoulders, giving the one opposite to him a tiny squeeze.  _ Stop being so fucking weak Tommy, _ he thought to himself and he curled in on himself as much as he could whilst standing. He didn’t belong here, he was so out of place and felt suffocated by the unfamiliar place. He decided that if he didn’t want to have a panic attack he was going to have to hyperfocus on something else. 

He turned to Phil, who was about halfway across the room by now. He was to Tommy’s left of Techno, and had a gentle smile on his scarred face which was slightly blocked by some of his shoulder length blonde hair falling into it, little braids scattered randomly through it. His bucket hat looked like it was about to fall off his head, but it somehow stayed on anyway. He was wearing a light green hoodie, but with what seemed to be a cape or jacket of some kind over it? It clasped under the hood in the front with a seemingly pixelated heart with two slashes on either side, but it didn't seem to have any other clasps or a zipper. The rest of the front was open to show his hoodie pocket and the strings of his sweatpants. The sleeves of the weird cape jacket thing he was wearing stopped just above his elbow, and had a large cut on the outsides of each sleeve in the shape of a diamond. The back of what Tommy decided was a jacket flowed down behind him, gushing his every quick step he took yet from what Tommy could tell from his angle it never seemed to lift enough to show anything other than the back of his knees. 

Techno, on the other hand, had the exact same outfit and hairstyle from the last time he saw him. Long light pink hair tied into a loose ponytail at the nape of his neck, wispy strands falling out of the hold and into his face. As he walked he slightly adjusted his blocky, broken glasses with thin frames and tape keeping them together on the bridge of his nose. Tommy knew he could replace them, he had the money and time to schedule an appointment at least 90% of the time, but due to how often techno broke his glasses and despised using contacts, since these weren’t completely unusable yet he probably opted to keep them until he couldn’t. They covered some of his many freckles on his face and his warm brown eyes that matched Wilbur’s. He had scars on the bridge of his nose, getting dangerously close to both his eyes, a light scar on his right eye and a jagged scar on his left cheek that went down to below his jaw. He was wearing a hoodie with the sleeves cropped to cuff around his elbow instead of his wrist over a black torn long sleeve. The hoodie was multicolor with pink sleeves and pockets, a blue base for the torso and hoodie along with buckles on the arms and yellow crown patches on both ends of the sleeves. Techno was also wearing sweatpants, which tucked into his large black boots. 

Tommy took a deep breath, and gingerly took a step forward, looking at Wilbur to make sure he was coming and so he wouldn’t accidentally tug the blonde back. Wilbur nodded at him, an encouraging smile on his face as he took his arm off his shoulder for a second to give him a gentle nudge. Tommy still felt extremely out of place but he could do this with Wilbur there. He trusted him.


End file.
